Consistency Is Key or Is it? It's time for a change!

How often do you hear that? Consistency is key. I mean yeah, it is but.... What happens when you change things up?

Take my eBay store for example. I've been consistent. I list everything in detail. I consistently post pictures of all my products. If they're opened I posted pictures of everything included and I state that what is pictured is the ONLY thing that's included and i price things accordingly. I review. I analyze. My items aren't just things I have laying around. A lot of time, effort, and research goes into everything I post. It's very literally an online store and supplemental income for my family so I take it all very seriously. But... even with my consistency not all people see it that way. Including eBay. Someone orders something decide they don't want it, they don't read the description, they don't pay attention to the 'no returns', 'all sales final' that is clearly stated on all descriptions. eBay doesn't care about the seller. They don't care about the time and effort that went into the posting. They don't care that some people are trying to scam sellers to get free stuff. They want to keep the item, use it, and get a refund at the same time. So what happens?? Your account gets restricted. As a seller you get penalized because someone ordering your item didn't read the description fully and didn't look at the pictures you posted and now they want their money back.

What happens to your consistency then? It's not rewarded that's for sure. Nope.

I use that as an example because it's something that I take seriously. I take great pride in everything I put my name on. Everything from work, to family, to my animals, everything. So yes, for me consistency is key. But... Consistency doesn't always work. Sometimes you have to take a different approach because sometimes the one your consistently using isn't the right one. Sometimes you've got to know when to let go. When to change course and when to move on.

I'm there. I stay consistent at times with the wrong things. It's time for a change. You see for months I've been consistently praying that things would get better with / for my ex. For months I've refused to let go. For months I've held on to the stockholms, the trauma bond and clung to the past. I've been consistently loyal to an image of a person that never really existed. It sucks too.. Man does it suck. It's hard to let go. When you want SO BADLY for that person to be the person you KNOW they can be but they just WON'T. You've seen glimpses of it. You know it's possible. Just not with you.

I've wondered if I'm an enabler. At times i think I am. I'm pretty sure I am actually. For some at least. What happens is.. I see something in someone, and I think that if I try hard enough, I can get them to see it too. Unfortunately, my 'save everyone from themselves' mentality doesn't work and it only causes me more issues. I hand over money, time, material possessions, cars, whatever... always thinking that if I do more, if I give more, if only I am more... But I'm not. I'm never enough for those people.

So.. My new consistency is CHANGE. I'm changing. I'm letting go of the past as much as anyone who has been through the things I've been through can and I'm looking forward to the future. I'm leaving him in the rear view. I don't have a choice anymore. Holding on to him. Holding on to hope for him to change is not doing me any good. It's actually holding me back.

So, here I am. Looking at the new year with a new outlook. God is good. God has plans for my future that will not cause me harm. God brought me and my kids out of a situation that was hurting us. Over the past year and a half (ish) I've been forced to make decisions, hard decisions, some of the hardest of my life actually. But.... lately I've been able to see things in a little different light.

I have friends who care about me, my health, my wellbeing. Some of them are minutes away, some of them are only online but, they support me. I know that God is bringing and will continue to bring people into my life who are meant to be here. I know that he will protect me from the ones that aren't supposed to be in it and that there is healing happening for me now and in the future.

I don't know who's meant to be in my future other than my kids and my animals but, I do know that my future will be better than my past because I'm going to consistently make better decisions about the people I allow in our lives. I'm going to consistently pray that God watches over and protects us from those who would do us harm. I'm going to consistently teach my boys so they learn from my mistakes. I'm going to consistently pray the walls I build don't keep out the good things or the good people. I'm going to pray consistently that my kids remain the kind, loving, giving kids that they are despite the things they've seen from the people who've been around them that weren't that way. I'm going to consistently pray that none of us become jaded.

While all of that may sound depressing it really isn't. Not all people are good. There is a reason we're warned of wolves in sheeps clothing. I was married to one. There's one in my family that I limit my contact with at all costs. If i had listened to God when he told me not get married. If I had listened to God when i was told by my ex that he didn't care if I was here when he got back. If I had listened to God the last 8 years would've been very different.

I've put off what was meant for me long enough. I've put off what was meant for my kids long enough. God couldn't do it for me. The things that were meant for us had to wait while I dealt with the ones that weren't.

Today life is better. Tomorrow will be even better that. Because now... Now I make the choice to consistently be and do better.

Consistent better choices.

Consistent better decisions.

Consistent better parenting.

Consistently better.