Faith and Worry - Give it to God - Let it Go - This Too Shall Pass; Faith Over Fear

How many times have you heard "Let it go" or "Give it to God"? I grew up hearing it. The funny thing about it is for some of us it is absolutely the hardest thing ever to do.

I was taught faith and worry can't coexist but, for me they do, sort of. I know that I will be alright. I know that God has my back but.. I don't know how I'm going to get there so I worry about it. I give it to God but, I take it back. I know I do. The question that I have is 'I'm a mom, how do I not worry?' I know that I'm supposed to trust God. I know that I'm supposed to have faith. I know that I'm supposed to give it to God and not take it back. I know that.

The devil only attacks what's valuable. I'm under attack so I must be important. My storm proves it. The things I've been through, the things I'm going through I must be important. I don't know why. I don't know how. All I know is that I do trust God. I know that he has this ship and he's steering my course. He will make sure that I get what I need. His will is going to be done, in his time and I can't speed it up. I can slow it down, I can fight it but, it will come to pass.

This too shall pass. Everything passes with time. I won't be on this path forever. I won't feel lost forever. I won't be fearful forever. I won't be worried forever. I won't be depressed forever. Everything has a season. The only question I have is how long is it going to last?

This is where the judgement comes in. If I trust in Jesus and know that God has my back and I have faith that everything is going to be ok then those people out there who think they know how I'm 'supposed to feel' even though they've never experienced my storm and have never know any of the pain or trauma that I've know they will judge me for not being 'down' long enough, or being 'down' too long. You see those people you can't make happy. Those people that I have to avoid. They "THINK" they know but they've never been divorced, they've never been abused, they have 'attitude' about how they would handle it but, so did I at one time. I just knew nothing like that would ever happen to me but, it did. I couldn't stop it and some people think I allowed it.

Why should I explain myself? I don't have to. I don't owe anyone an explanation. God is the only one I have to answer to. Jesus is the only one who I owe anything to. I don't owe my sister in law. I don't owe my brother. I don't owe my parents. I don't owe my friends. I don't owe anyone anything because none of them lived it. None of them walked in my shoes. None of them have any idea what it's like to be me.

Did I make bad decisions? Sure. Did I bring it on myself? Maybe. Did I deserve it? No. Am I the only one who has ever broken up with someone? No. Am I the only one who will ever break up with someone? No. I am the only one who has ever trusted someone I shouldn't? No. Am I wrong for being a trusting person? No. Am I wrong for trying to help people? No. Did I do anything purposely to hurt anyone? No.

What am I guilty of? Slowing down my progress. Getting derailed. Allowing Satan to send people into my life to keep me from God's will. Maybe? I don't know. Maybe, just maybe, I was supposed to go through everything I went through to get to a point in the future that I couldn't have gotten to without going through it all. That's what I chose to believe. I believe that God has a plan and all the pain and suffering is part of it. I don't believe that he wanted me to go through it but just like Saul he had to go through some growing pains to become Paul. Just like Naomi she had to deal with somethings to get to her grandson. There are things that happen in our lives that we don't understand and there are things that we have to go through to grow through to get where we are supposed to be.

I am a firm believer that there are people out there who will always be against you no matter how good you are and that's ok that's there problem and their loss. You can't win them all. But. You can be you. You can do this without them. You can say 'you may be a friend or you may be family' but, I don't have to have you on my journey. My journey is just that it's my journey. God will use me how, when, where he sees fit.

I can pray for those who are against me and I do but, I'm not trying to rally them on my side. Shoot, even if they were on my side I wouldn't trust them. They're too fickle and untrustworthy. I don't need people like that on my side. I pray that God heals them of whatever it is in them that they judge me for. I pray that whatever is on their heart that they are lashing out at others for that he takes that pain away from them and helps them through their battles. I pray for their salvation because for those who do that they probably aren't right with the Lord. If you're sitting around on your throne of high horseness and you're looking at others and their lives and pointing fingers then you're not in the right heart. I know. I've been there. We judge others when we're cocky. We judge others when we're jealous. We judge others when we're scared. We judge others when we are insecure. At some point we've all done it.

I welcome prayer. You want to pray for me and judge me and say "Oh lord she's got this all wrong, change her' please do. I welcome it. I need it. I can't live without it. While you're at it be sure to say "God your will be done in her life".

This too shall pass. People and their judgement pass. Like a wave things move and things change and people grow and people leave and progress happens, change happens, life happens.

How do you keep the faith in all of that? How do you 'let go and let God'? How do you 'give it to God'? Because the bible says so.

Proverbs 16:9 "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps"

Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you."

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been calling according to his purpose"

Ephesians 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"

Phillippians 3:13-14 "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it, But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. 14 I press on toward the goal to win the price for which God has caclled me heavenward in Christ Jesus

Psalm 46:10 "Be Still and know that I am God"

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

If I listen to God. If I read my bible. If I reinforce what I already know, I'm ok. I'll be ok. I won't let the worry and the fear take over and overrule the faith. if I don't.... If I let Satan win, if I allow him to come into my home, my heart, my head... If I allow him to feed my insecurities then I will have issues. Faith cannot live where worry lives. Fear can not live where faith lives. It's a combination effort. Faith over Fear. Who knows maybe Gods plan for my life is for me to be a motivational speaker. I doubt it but, you never know.

I dont know what God has planned for me but, I do know that it's better than anything I can think of. He's busy right now, he's closing doors and opening new ones. Right now he's putting my name on the minds and hearts of those that can help me. Right now he's preparing me for things I'll have to do in the future. He's teaching me. He's 'growing' me through the storm.

God will win. He always does.

You know. I tried. I really did. I don't care what anyone thinks. I don't care who says I should've done more or I could've done more. They don't know. They don't know what it was like to live with someone who never wanted to be around me. They don't know what it was like to live with someone who never really loved me. They don't know what it was like to hear my spouse say "I love you as much as I can love anyone" because he wasn't capable of love. He created a copout to make me think he might love me. They don't know what it's like to love someone who doesn't exist. I wish I didn't but, I do. That person is gone, and has been gone for sometime now, but they are still trying to hurt me. They can't get to me anymore but, they're still trying.

One day. One day things will come to light. One day I will be set free. One day my trauma will heal. One day I'll love again. One day I'll trust again. Just not today. Today I'm going to let go and let God. Today I'm going to have faith over fear and trust in my God, who sent his only begotten son Jesus Christ to die for my sins because I'm more worthy than the sparrows. Today I 'm going to know that God will provide for my family. Today I'm going to be aware that the Holy Spirit is in this house. Today I'm going to trust that everything will work out exactly as God has it planned for his glory.