New Beginnings

How do you start your day?

I'm trying to build things into how I start my day give me energy and motivation. I'm trying to 'find me' again. I lost myself for so long in the years of 'people pleasing' (I forgot I was people too) that I've decided I need to build healthy 'morning' habits. I say morning because I feel like if I start the day off right it's less likely to get derailed if/when something inevitably comes up.

A few of the things that I have personally started doing (or doing better about) I still flip through my phone after I get up but I read less news. I don't want or need to know everything going on in the world. We get too much news and half of it isn't true anyway. Everything is so 1 sided and everyone gets so offended by anything and everything that you can't get the truth out of a reporter anymore it's all skewed depending on who they're trying to impress. So, there's that. Less news. I do check the weather. I look to see if my friends posted anything interesting. I have elderly grandparents so admittedly I check to make sure no one called or text during the night because I almost expect 'that call' at any point in time. I dread that call but, I'm not naive enough to think that they will outlive me. I also look to see if there are eBay sales and that type of thing.

Next, after I get the kids off to school, I sit down with a big ole cup of joe and my bible. Yup, I've actually started reading my bible. I'm a christian. I know my bible. But... I learned something about myself, and a lot of other folks like me. Not many of us have actually read the whole bible. I didn't start in Genisis Chap 1 - nope I started with Job. I feel like Job a lot lately, so I decided to actually spend time reading the whole thing and I did the entire book of Job. I found I was right too. I was like Job. I had a high and mighty attitude that was keeping me from being humble and appreciating God and all he's done for me. It gave me a different perspective. Do I still feel like Job? Yep. Am I more grateful for the things I have now, also, yes.

After that I pray. I've even started a list. I actually pray for people that I used to tell I would pray for but, never really did and I even pray for both of my ex-husbands. They have a common denominator - me, so they need prayer.

There are some days I don't want to. Others I don't feel like it and do it anyway, and then there are days where my faith waivers. I realized something though. To be the person I really want to be I've got to get up and do it anyway. I can't be a good mom, good woman, good worker if I can't figure out how to be good. There is always going to be something pulling the rug out from under my feet if I can't get a different perspective. I used to be an optimist there might be a cloud, but the silver lining was the grass that the rain would bring from it, I was one of those and I lost that. Life happened. Bad marriages happened. Things tend to strip away at you, and you find those things that were annoyingly good about you are gone and replaced with bitter ick. Well, I don't want to be bitterly ick. So, I'm seeking God. I'm seeking to know him and be like him. I'm seeking his will for my life (for the 1st time ever).

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. But for the first time ever, I'm not worried about it. I am a child of God. I am enough. No weapon forged against me shall prosper. My God is an awesome God. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son that who soever believe in him shall not perish but have ever lasting life.

Lastly, I spend time here. I work on my blog. I try to find ways to make my site more appealing. I write. Then I start my day.

So, what's next?

Exercise. Years ago when I was in the process of leaving my first husband, I got really angry with myself. I was 270+ lbs and I'm short. So, this, this was BAD. Anyway... I started moving. It wasn't much. I couldn't do much. I started learning about nutrition. I started making changes. 2019/2020 I had done really well. I lost down to 155 rolled up to 165 and hovered there comfortably for several years. Then... it happened again. Stress eating. Comfort food. All the things that I spent years undoing came sneaking back. I would battle it back down. It would come back up. I hit 175 rolled up to 190. Now, I hover around 210 and I HATE IT!! I absolutely hate that I have let the battle of my food and my weight come back into the picture and it is pissing me off. Yes, I'm a chrisitian and I said 'pissing me off' I'm not perfect.

I ride horses and I move around every day, but I haven't been exercising. I haven't "exercised" consistently in 5 years (maybe more) so, I'm going to have start from scratch. I'm not in the fabulous shape I was. But... I've got to start. I've got to move. I've got to get up and do things. So, that's what I'm going to do. Things. I'm going to start building in exercise like I did when I was 270 and couldn't tie my shoes.

Positive changes. 1 day at a time. 1 habit at a time.

So far today I've cooked my kids breakfast. Read the book of Ruth. Prayed & Blogged. Now I'm going to get another cup of coffee change clothes and get active. Then I'll start on my projects.

What will you do to make today better tomorrow? You read that right. Today already started. You can stop now and start over and make today better. But... What will you do to make 'today' better, tomorrow?