The Run

I don't know why people don't like to run. I mean I suppose the thought of it is daunting. When I was fat I hated the idea. I always had this misconception that I had to run the whole time too that dropping to a walk would be get me punished or something. Maybe back in high school it would've but not today.

Today I run and I enjoy it. Not like I did 7 years ago but, I'm getting it back. I'm remembering why I did it 7 years ago. I'm remembering why it's important to me again. Today I run because it helps me breathe. It gives me a time and a space all my own where it's as quite as I am. It gets me outside closer to nature. It puts my feet on the ground and to the test. Today I run because I want to.

What do you do to get rid of your week? Or to start your day clear? This is what I do. I hit the treadmill or the pavement depending on my mood and mindset. The sunshine does the best so outdoors is the most preferred but I can do indoors also. That sometimes fits my schedule better. It really just depends.

Either way you put those ear buds in. You turn your music on. You put your feet to work however fast or slow you want and you start moving and you keep moving. The first 3 minutes are the hardest. Finding your rhythm. Once you find your rhythm and get your stride your good. Thats when the music fills your head and your soul. You forget the problems your dealing with or the things that you've got to deal with when you get back. For however long and however far your running if its a mile or if its 10 miles your focused on you and your breathing.

It's something no one can take away from you. It's something that you don't give up unless you want to. It's something that on your worst days will make you feel better if you just push through. I'm master excuse maker when it comes to why I don't need to run today. Or why I don't want to run today. But... If I get up and do it and get it done. I never regret having done it. I always feel better for it.

I've got to do it. I need to do it. It is such a confidence builder for me. When I was running regularly several years ago I never cared much that I ran slow. I felt good. I was in good shape. I wasn't looking to bad either. I was taking care of myself for the first time in my life and I wasn't the greatest at it but, I was getting it done.

Then there's God. There's that whole factor of it. When I run distance there's this space between mile 3 and mile 8 that I can really zone out. I get out of my head. I get out of my heart. I see nature. I feel the presence of God and all the things he created for us and I talk to him. Boy do I ever talk to him. I can't do anything anymore without checking with him first. I talk to him about my plans for the upcoming day, troubles with my ex's, troubles with my kids. I talk to him about anything and everything and I just sit back and hold on and watch him work.

I see God moving in my life. I see God blessing me. I see him providing for me every time I need him. I see my sons grades coming up. It's a struggle but, it's happening. I see his attitude getting better. I see

his confidence building. That's not me, that's God. My youngest, he's happy where he's at. He's having fun. I see God moving in all 3 of their lives.

The bible tells me that a mustard seed of faith is all I need. Some days that's all I have. The bible also tells me that God will provide. Ask and ye shall receive. I have been, I continue to and he does. It says pray feverously without ceasing. When I'm running and the anger, & fear of whatever I'm dealing with subsides I can see the blessings for what they are. You're also supposed to thank God when you can see those blessings take a minute to thank him for them without asking for anything else. In that moment truly humble yourself and be grateful for all you have. Your running, thank him you are healthy enough to do that. You have shoes to run in, thank him for the shoes on your feet and the clothes on your back. Thank him for the job that provided them. Thank him for the food your going to eat and the bottle of water your drinking and more than anything else thank him for opening your eyes and starting your day with the opportunity to run today.

I don't know why some people don't like to run. I know some days I don't want to run. Running is just part of my day again now. This is like day 12 haha seriously it's day 12. I had to start over AGAIN. I've had so many set backs with my running the last 7 years. A car wreck that caused me to have a broken foot and be in a boot for almost a year. A skydiving accident that tore my LCL and put me out of commission for months. Pain from both of those injuries that comes and goes when it feels like it. All of which had life going on, on the side and helped me make excuse after excuse to justify why I didn't need to. Oh I tried to start back and I would run here and there. I didn't do it right. I would over do it, and reinjure something or overwhelm myself with it all.

This time. This time I'm learning it's ok to not go long distance. It's ok to not have a short time. It's ok. The entire point of my doing this, this time, is to get back out there. To show up for myself and to do what I need to do to take care of me. Someone used to tell me 'no one else can do it for you' and they were right. I'm the only one that can put my feet on the floor and make them move. I'm the only one that can say we're going this far today and get it done. So today since it's day 12 and we're getting back into things nice and slow and easy we're hitting a mile and a half. I haven't decided if we will do indoors or out yet. It's still pretty cold and wet out there so we might just stay in and open the door. But... ear buds in, music up, toes tapping, we're going to move today and we're going to show up for ourselves.

Show up for yourself. Show up for your kids. Show up for everyone who loves you and needs you in their lives. The best thing you can do for everyone around you is to take care of yourself. That might not be running for you and that's ok. Today that's what it is for me. The cross training is happening slowly but, I'm about to start that again too. The idea for me is slowly. Slow and steady building the good habits, making them stick. Keeping things moving.