Who's driving this thing?

I sit back and look around sometimes and I see all this activity around me. Sometimes it makes me want to puke. Like the teacups at the county fair. (Yup. Guilty. I can jump out of a plane at 15,000ft but the teacups make me hurl. Go figure.) Others, I giggle to myself at the sheer and utter chaos.

That's what it's like to parent single. That's what it's like to live in 2022. Everything is so crazy these days it makes you ask, "who's driving this thing?", best I can come up with, no one. Some days I wonder if God took a vacation. I mean I know he didn't but, man, sometimes it's so crazy, chaotic that it makes it hard to keep the faith.

I find myself asking a lot, 'how I am supposed to raise my boys to be good men, hard-working, providers, that take care of their business?' I also find myself answering back, 'the best I can'. I'm not a man. I can't teach them to be men.

I also can't & won't get behind this jazz about 'identifying as this or that' a boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina, it's that simple. God made man, and woman. He didn't make in between this or that... Raising kids is hard enough without all the made-up BS the world is dishing out today. (Sorry not sorry.)

Boys have to be taught how to be men but, with so many single moms and the lack of support systems and role models out there it's really hard to teach them how to do man things. It's ok for boys to cook and clean. It's ok for girls to turn a wrench and hit a nail with a hammer. Doesn't change who they are or what they enjoy. So, I made a decision. I'm going to teach my boys to do as many things as possible. I work hard, so I'm hoping they notice and remember & follow suit for themselves and their own families. Some things are simple 'lead by example'. They're still relatively young so there's time. I've started teaching them to help out. They live here. They eat here. They wear clothes. They can help wash them, cook, and participate in making sure the laundry, dishes, trash, and bathroom is kept up.

I'm not afraid to remind my kids it's my job to provide for them, teach them, raise them, it is NOT my job to be their maid or waitress. They are big enough now they can help. They have phones but, I'm not afraid to take them away. They have games, with limits. Winter is more difficult because it's dark so early and the weather is ick, but summer, summer they've got requirements on how long to be outside in order to earn game time. Do I care that their dad thinks that's just awful, NOPE!

Bottom line. I gotta do right by these guys. I can't do that if I hand them everything they want and never make them do anything for themselves. Raising kids isn't a science. If you make them soft, they'll be soft. If you make them hard, they'll be hard. The trick is to find the happy medium. Don't lie to them, they know. If you're upset and depressed, they pick up on it. If you're angry they can read, you. You're mom. They know a lot more than you think. Check yourself and compose yourself often.

Moms never get a break we are 24/7 on call, on vacation, during holidays whatever/whenever. You never stop 'momming', even after they're grown.

Hang in there. You've got this.